Reddit mil takes baby. you need to be firm with her.

Reddit mil takes baby MIL is happy, but sad because SIL The MiL asked and received permission to take the baby to her house, there was nothing unreasonable about what she did. Tried to burp her even though my milk supply hadn’t come in yet. A couple years ago dear friends of mine asked me to take care of their 14-month-old for 3 days while they attended a wedding out of state. The baby is your and need YOU. You need to create and develop your bond with your baby. 9M subscribers in the JUSTNOMIL community. My daughter didn’t even let me hold my granddaughter until she felt ready. She cannot take his mother anymore. Like others have said- drop the rope. My MIL thinks just because she’s the Nana she has carte blanch to my 10 month old. I went to say "sure" multiple times… MIL planned on quitting her job after baby arrives to be it’s primary care giver. No one had set eyes on her but us and gparents. My MIL said for months I didn’t have to worry she wouldn’t be at the hospital so we could be with our baby (she has 6 kids) and wanted to keep all her babies to herself when she had them. I just gave birth not too long ago, she keeps coming up to my parents place during the period which I need rest and now she is doing this. etc…). MIL was clearly very uncomfortable and kept trying to interject with her side whilst we were talking but she eventually listened to us. Every time we go over there, she holds her the whole time and MIL has called my husband every day for the past two weeks only asking about the baby and never asked once how I'm doing. Now I and baby (and puppy) are going to take a break from you for a It was awesome because we really needed tiny stuff and while I was at the shower my dad and hubby did her crib an a bunch of cute things for her. A month later, she does. ” I politely told them that I am going to adhere to the guidelines set by the AAP for sleeping. MIL is addicted to your baby. Thankfully, ankle is not broken. She is making comments about taking SILs baby away from her. true. My mom's anxiety makes mine look like a walk in the park. SIL has no choice. I’ve seen a post in here some time ago about a MIL who snuck in and abducted the baby, sending husband a photo of her in the rocking chair with the baby at her home in her nursery through the night. This text mad me so angry. " She then said well she wants to take the baby one weekend a month "to help us out. The visual grossed me out so much. I said oh she wants me and reached out for her. ” Your baby is NOT an emotional support animal for MIL. There is no excuse for hair pulling. Overnight she went from normal to overbearing and lacking all respect for boundaries. I lived with her for the first 3 months of his life which didn't help , but she was very overbearing. Anyway I decided to try to mitigate opportunities for MIL to be in a closed environment such as the house where she could act upon her boundary crossing impulses. We were going to take our little boy, but he had skipped his nap and was super grumpy, so we let mil watch him for the evening. My MIL felt offended after this and started to raise her voice against me saying she wouldn't let me forbid her from seeing her grandchild. https://a. Ever since I gave birth three months ago, my MIL is very obsessed with my daughter. Tell MIL to leave. A trespassing report will be a nice start to the paper trail you may need when she indeed tries to steal your baby. My mom and MIL always say “just put the baby down how they are comfortable. Yeah my mom and MIL say this too. TLDR: aita for letting mil care for baby for the weekend but not take her for the week at her place 4 hours away? Healthy babies honestly cant sleep too much, OP. Nothing wrong with feeling hurt, jealous or struggling… but that’s not the fault of the mom or baby. Alarm bells are ringing. I truly just want to my opinion to matter. Ty all for the advice and compassion and concern. I was raging! OP DO NOT let MIL come stay with you, ever. She takes her daughter and leaves MIL alone with baby for another six or seven hours. : ‘Grammy fed me XYZ today’. You get your party MIL. On MIL's mantle, the most prominent picture is of her, FIL, my husband and his brother, and adopted son and his family. Like "My mother in law suggested oatmeal to get my baby to sleep omg how stupid! Posted by u/[Deleted Account] - 201 votes and 89 comments Okay. co/d/7fxnpQ8 Check this baby carrier Op it's meant for newborns and it will make it much more difficult for your MIL to snatched her from your arms and you can carry her while cooking and such to make your life a bit easier in the general This. Let her throw a fit and be upset. MIL, I won't EVER need or want to "pawn off" my baby on you. Try letting your baby take more naps during the day and see if he sleeps better at night. She proceeds to take her phone out and start taking pics of the baby in his face while DH friend is holding him. This would drive me crazy. MIL takes him out for walks every day when she's staying in our village. I feel like you offered that as a compromise in contrast to "MIL takes your baby away for 5 years", but let me say: her idea was so ridiculous and awful that it doesn't deserve to be negotiated with. He comes to you! And stays with you. If she thinks it's a good idea to take a baby out of their familiar environment, 13 hours away from their parent, to spend an entire week with people they barely know, then that shows to me that she's putting her own wants above the baby's needs. We live interstate from her, we do not see or speak to her regularly. She will only have access when I decide she can, and on my terms. We had fun with our friends, we even went and bought some baby clothes at Target. I'd recommend a lock on your bedroom and baby's bedroom door. If you ask for baby back and she pulls that sentence again, be firm and ask her in a firm voice "MIL, give me my baby back now". You can tell MIL that this is a boundary of yours, and enforce some type of consequence when she crosses the line. If she doesn't leave, call police and have her trespassed. I assume it is possible mil is controlling and wants to ensure baby bonds with her and mom and may not want competition. Come for… I ran to my phone to call 911 and saw a picture message from my MIL of my sleeping baby in her arms with the caption "sleepover at gamgams". My LO is 9 weeks old and we live 13 minutes away from my in laws. She is desperate to hang on to being the parent of a child. We told them there was a name we had in mind and his mom made a disapproving face then mispronounced it. MIL doesn’t know I have gotten permission to work from home permanently to be my child’s primary care giver. She even encouraged me to commit suicide when I was depressed so she could have the baby). i respectedher wishes and felt so proud when she let. When they got here MIL wanted to hold the baby and we told her no because this wasn’t her time and someone else was meeting him. MIL waddles in, demands to "help" for months, at BEST treating baby like a new kitten to play with, at worst treating this like an extended vacation where the tired new parents have an additional baby to take care of. Both me and my husband work 9-5 we had a hard time adjusting to our new routine with a baby in the picture, I'd have my sister, my mom, and sometimes MIL babysit for me but it brought a lot of headache and was only temporary, my sister told me her friend was just starting a home daycare a few weeks ago, I instantly put my son there, my sister When sending invites to my baby shower, I told my husband I didn't want my MIL there. They can definitely hold babies, but if baby is getting fussy, needs to eat, or if the in-laws start saying ridiculous stuff (ie: MIL likes to “accidentally” call herself mommy, they start talking about how baby is basically going to live with them, or start lecturing us about how wrong we are in all our parenting decisions), we take baby back. CMP is passed through breastmilk so I’ve been dairy free almost 6 months. And also kept asking to hold my baby even though I had a very hard birth and really needed my daughter with me the first few months after she was born. She said bottles were fine. I was in a similar situation with my sister in law when my son was first born. Posted by u/LawEqual8886 - 1,367 votes and 88 comments On MIL's mantle, the most prominent picture is of her, FIL, my husband and his brother, and adopted son and his family. We argued about it because the baby was too small (she tried to force me to give her custody a few times. Sorry she’s not the MIL you wanted. I recently found out that my MIL (husband’s mother), started to take second hand cribs and baby necessities to place in her home, like assuming that my son will be even staying with her. It depends on the relationship. No one ever listens to what I want when it comes to MY baby. Anyway then I said to her that she is more than welcome to come on one day a week to hang with baby while I exercise in the other room. A lot of parents with overbearing MIL’s wait until baby is old enough to talk and can express themselves, before they allow them stay overnight anywhere. Mil: baby is crawling! You: omg if THAT is crawling, I'd love to see what kind of (insert dramatic air quotes) "walking" SO did at "8 months"! Maybe just lean into it. I feel like a worrywart and very very silly. If your MIL has had her stay with her multiple weekends before with no issue, I would say yes. I screamed so hard I almost vomited. Yup, my baby started crying the other day when my mom was holding him. Or just go and take baby out of her arms, it really doesn't matter how she reacts to it, this is not her baby. That’s YOUR baby. MIL eventually returned minutes later, because FIL said she needed the car seat if she was gonna take the baby. That’s where the issues started. Once when he was a newborn, and then when he was 3 months like 3 times we saw her. I know they take good care of her. She then tried to refuse to give him to me but my husband stepped in. Door stops are a great idea. Then baby was born. He told me, "since you're not letting my own mother be in the room with you when you're giving birth, you have to invite her to this. A place to post about your MIL or Mother who is just the *worst*. If he takes baby alone with out any custody agreement he can legally take your child back and not give him back tell you get a court order, which could be months! Go to the court house and look into filling an emergency custody agreement, so that you have baby 100% tell you have another court hearing. She has yelled and accused me of horrible things due to her anger. My point is that OP never suggested he would contribute to the care of wife or mil. I stayed at their house and it was a huge Why are MIL and BIL there if they are not helping? You just had a baby. You will have to tell her that this is your baby, your shower and you want to enjoy it as well. It’s not a fun time for anyone. After a week she took it all down because it was inconvenient for her. After the gender reveal, my fiancé and I went to hang out with some friends. Change the baby in another room, closing the door behind you. I was immediately enraged. I was with My mother in law (MIL) and she was asking us about baby names, and suggested a few, theodore, jackson, lars, and her persistent favorite "jeerson" . The more you try to take my kid away from me, the less you're going to see them. Once ready she takes my baby off me without asking, we go out the door and she just walks off with her up the street to my car, as I trail behind with the bags. And it's like man chill tf out. If you have to take baby from her go to one of those rooms and lock yourself in telling her leave. I literally say that about my friends' pets sometimes, it's just a phrase nobody is going to steal your baby, your baby knows its mother and your MIL knows that baby isn't her offspring jfc. true I baby proofed my mother’s house myself with her permission so she could see my toddler. When my MIL cuts you out, she REALLY cuts you out haha If you want to be on your MIL's wall, do what my BIL's girlfriend does - bring over an already framed picture of yourself + husband + baby! I have found that baby can turn a normal MIL into a monster. And now that you know mil is ridiculous about milestones, I'd laugh at them. If for any reason you're alone with baby when she takes baby without permission, you also retrieve baby immediately. . So how do you stop MIL trying to take your baby from you whenever you see them… Went out for a meal last night and MIL is constantly messing with LO and looking at him when I asked her to leave him be because we only just got him down and he’d been grizzly all day… then later in the meal she wants to feed him and keeps asking to have him (I do refuse) then I’m walking him around Have you read the Just No MIL post where newly postpartum OP leaves her MIL with the baby for 5 minutes, only to return and find that MIL has the baby latched on to her elderly, obviously non-lactating boob 'for comfort'. Not My son (8 months) has a cows milk protein intolerance. Said “you can’t have her” when I said I’d take baby back. Baby is breastfed and eats some solids. I was confused when i heard it, but apparently it was her late husband's name (he died when my fiance was 5 of an overdosing of pills) My MIL is trying to take custody of my baby, she’s only met him a handful of times. Wearing the baby at an times she's in your presence is an excellent idea. They also live nearer and I feel much more comfortable with them. His grandma (my MIL) repeatedly “forgets” that things are dairy. She began pushing back saying the baby will be with her every afternoon (I told her she couldn't take my baby every afternoon) anyway and she'd drop her off every morning in spite of my decision to breast feed. She hugged her closer and refused to hand her over. O. I ran to my phone to call 911 and saw a picture message from my MIL of my sleeping baby in her arms with the caption "sleepover at gamgams". MIL wants baby but she hasn’t pushed anymore much it’s mostly husband. Goodness! Baby is doing multiplication y'all! My MIL did the same thing with the family photo. I’d talk to a therapist and get their feedback, because you guys need some guidance here with SIL and also MIL who’s minimizing this being serious. “AITA for telling my mother-in-law (MIL) she can’t see her grandchild until at least 6 months old?” The original poster (OP) explained: “My MIL treated me very poorly after I had our first daughter during the pandemic. Just walked in and reached for him while we were on the couch. Don't negotiate with scary people who want to take your baby away. Your MIL is not adapting to her status as an empty nester. Take your baby back each time she takes her. However, after the baby was born my MIL has been obsessed over her first grandchild and controlling our decisions. Her behavior is unhinged! Your MIL is trying to REPLACE you as the child’s mother. Explain to your husband that you’ve carried your baby for 9/10 months and these first weeks are for getting to know each other and establishing feeding and being a family. MIL, you've told me you don't understand infant safety with your comments about whiskey and car seats, so you'll never be alone with LO. You can make uo some thing about less back time or working on neck strength with it, and then say it's what is working for you right now. Guess what? You and baby are a package deal!😃 If you don't respect the mom, you don't get to see the baby!😏😅 She doesn't have to like you, but she does have to be polite and respectful of you as the baby's mother When we first told his parents the gender of the baby, they immediately started throwing in their thoughts on baby names. Take some time to process your disappointment & decide what to do. Also, he wouldn't even be at the baby shower, as he has something SIL has no choice. The "our baby" comment would be ringing alarm bells with me. When me and my siblings were babies in the early 90s stomach sleeping was the way it was. Also that they should eat a mint or chew gum before getting near him. She said "I'll put him in the carrier and take him out, or I'll take the baby car capsule out of your car and put it in mine and take him out". MIL wants to take DD to the pool this week. She brushed me off three times when I asked to take him various ways—not maliciously, but just in a “no thanks, I like soothing him” way—before I finally had to say, “mom, give me my baby. For example - every time she says “my baby”, take your baby back and end the visit; if it happens again, no visit for a month (or however long you decide). tried to take the baby from me after traveling 700 miles and not washing her hands or even saying hello. My JNMIL wanted to take the baby to see her friends. I was stunned! I marched over and wrenched my baby out of her arms. And this way LO can let you know (even if by accident) when your MIL is going against your rules (I. I won’t say what your MIL would do if you installed baby proofing for her- but beware! My baby is 8 months old. Her first visit she was holding my baby/ treating her like a doll - I don’t know how to explain it it it was very odd. I told her I was coming to get the baby and she would never see her again and to never contact our family again. 68 votes, 32 comments. Mil have had her baby and he is now an adult. I bring the baby to my parents when I need someone to take care of him. Do not allow her to take the baby from you. My mom came over to my house today and told me that when she got together with my MIL for Coffee (something I was wary about) my MIL questioned her several times on why I dont allow PEOPLE to help me out with the baby (I do in fact allow people to help me out, just not her). My MIL was the same (would also refer to herself as mommy a lot and sneakily try to feed the back emergency bottles of formula to my baby). Kept asking if it was time to change her like I think she wanted to do it. MIL knows that she gets her way every time so she pushing. 1000%. OOP then assumed MIL spoke the same way about her to other people. She wants to take my baby out of my house My MIL was similar. I would advise you to stop making those kind of suggestions. I’m going to talk to him later tonight about this issue and about him possibly seeing a therapist. One time my newborn baby was crying for me. In this instance, you can't blame MiL for getting her back up. take em down after. " Again I just said "no! you won't be taking her one weekend a month. MIL, *I* am the mother, not you. If she's not understanding of the boundaries you lay down when baby is this young, she never will be and it will probably just get worse. The attitude only came once op had a go at her about it. Posted by u/throwawaythtbaby - 15 votes and no comments But three days ago it kinda changed. If your baby wasn't tired or didn't need sleep, nothing your MIL is doing would make your baby sleep (short of drugging him!) Perhaps your MIL just recognizes your baby's sleepy cues out of experience. Well tonight my DH best friend came by to see the baby for the first time along with his girlfriend. MIL holding her. Tell her again what you don't want and be firm. MIL, I'll be weaning the baby when he's ready and not before. You should be resting and dealing with yourself and the baby. We’re constantly inviting them over and doing our best to… Kloovete Baby Wrap Carrier, Perfect Baby Carrier Wrap Sling for Newborn and Infant up to 35 lbs. My MIL always tries to give him water, which he doesn't need and which he doesn't really know how to drink (he ends up spilling it all over himself and soaking his clothes). MIL said OOP's SIL (husband's sister, or his brother's wife, I assume) had baby fever but would be an unfit mother, so she (MIL) would have to take the baby away. you need to be firm with her. I was confused when i heard it, but apparently it was her late husband's name (he died when my fiance was 5 of an overdosing of pills) Posted by u/[Deleted Account] - 5,959 votes and 156 comments My MIL is trying to take custody of my baby, she’s only met him a handful of times. In no way is 3 months some sort of age milestone for sleep overs. 1. Well when I was finally in labor she insisted on coming down, and guilt tripped us and told the entire family she wasn’t allowed at the hospital. And taking it so far further to ask to “take him off your hands” is extremely disturbing. Luckily I will be putting my baby to sleep. Finally, MIL takes SIL and kids back home and SIL immediately calls her husband and tells him she's leaving him. She can't just pull and take the baby if baby is cuddled to your chest. Anyways, the other day I was exhausted and she came unannounced to my house so I told her to watch my baby (he was asleep) while I go take a shower Anyways my velcro baby decides to wake up after I got into the shower and my BEAUTIFUL MIL takes out her breast and tries to put my baby for him to latch on her breast (she is not lactating in any way. 205 votes, 79 comments. MIL waaay out of line. And MIL felt it her responbility to take over. Wow. Baby Boy gets really fussy, doesn’t sleep and then will have violent & bloody stools. If she's even considering the baby's needs at all. " To be fair, I have no real concerns with my MIL and FIL watching our baby. Persons with Down Syndrome (Trisomy 21) can have a range of intellect and Well tonight my DH best friend came by to see the baby for the first time along with his girlfriend. My point is the way to negotiate is to argue to wife and mil that he wants to contribute to the care of wife, baby and even mil if she is picked up the baby when I told her not to as he would get upset. You should be grateful that you get a baby shower at all". 393 votes, 164 comments. I told my husband who promptly put her in her place. Then just don't take baby out of the wrap if you can help it. Your husband, not you have to say no to your mil. Dad needs to step up and handle them. set up twine and get clothespins and hang them around the room and take pics, put on baby announcement and boom. It's your baby, not hers, and you are not responsible for her feelings. Odd? She completely takes over putting baby in the car seat without having a clue how to do it. If you allow her to take over this, she will take over your birthing experience, your postpartum experience, and who knows what else. 100 votes, 70 comments. It’s hard, but I’d suggest lowering your expectations from her. That's not to say that MiL hasn't overstepped previously, but op is def overreacting this time. And just like other petty shit. Yesterday my friend came over to ask what I do and do not want in a baby shower and told me things my MIL has done so far: Tried to make the baby shower not coed because men should not come (my husband's one request was co-ed). So, sure. MIL, you won't be babysitting even in an emergency. 562 votes, 61 comments. But the onsie thing. I stay at home and breastfeed, so naturally DS is a little more clingy towards me. My husband was holding our baby and had noticed that she had “used the bathroom” he had asked his mom if she could take her upstairs and change her diaper since she was right next to him(My husband is an extreme germaphobe), she did and took her upstairs. My MIL does not know me well despite me being part of the family for 7 years. Your NEW baby, you need to put your foot down because if you don’t you will resent this. e. Both me and my husband work 9-5 we had a hard time adjusting to our new routine with a baby in the picture, I'd have my sister, my mom, and sometimes MIL babysit for me but it brought a lot of headache and was only temporary, my sister told me her friend was just starting a home daycare a few weeks ago, I instantly put my son there, my sister Lady, I wouldn't let you take care of my plants for two weeks, so you can imagine what my answer is when it comes to my dog and my kid. It must be hard since your friends all have good relationships with theirs. Spoiler alert, he got Big Mad. MIL does know what she is getting into as she as obviously been through it before (albeit a long time ago!) I personally wouldn’t have the first long weekend outing be 6 hours away. No unfettered access for grandma. But that’s just me. Still in shock, I just said "not really, but just no. It all comes down to you, your husband, and how you respond. And then if you can, you should get a cloth wrap and baby wear. M. I (23) recently had a baby with my boyfriend (28) and his parents offered to let us stay there rent free when I got pregnant. I called her and saw red. After I while I told my fiancé I didn’t wanted to see her and she wasn’t allowed to see our baby, he agreed but fast forward a few days later she showed up unannounced to our room ( for the record my brother, his sister and my fiancé rent a house together) when I saw her I wanted to grab my baby and leave but couldn’t so I left the room Also, when my husband and I visit with baby (we are from the same town) we stay with my mom and visit MIL at her house because I am allergic to cats and MIL also made me very uncomfortable the last time we stayed with baby by standing over me, following me room to room, and demanding to hold my newborn all the time. Now I understand she wants to keep the family name, but we had already decided on it. Ever since I became pregnant MIL has made it all about her. She told us her side; apparently, she was neglected by FIL's side of the family and that they hated her for being poor (FIL is old money, MIL grew up in a pit village). My MIL was orefecrly fine before baby. MIL and BIL are a hot mess. ogibw yiqbzjih nhmaue gpty bxuz lavusr vdnths okqzka gdrv laeq iinwni pzbu iamjh kzx dly